5 Questions with the Founders of Upstate Mary: Melissa Eppard and Michelle Bergkamp
Founded by the dynamic duo Melissa Eppard and Michelle Bergkamp, Upstate Mary not only champions high-quality products but also fosters conversations around female wellness and intimacy. In this exclusive interview, we delve into the vision and motivations behind Upstate Mary, exploring how these trailblazing women are reshaping the landscape of CBD and hemp-derived wellness products. Join us as we pose five thought-provoking questions to Melissa and Michelle, uncovering their journey and the powerful message they’re sharing.
High Herstory: Both of you have faced significant challenges related to sexual health, from breast cancer to PCOS. How have these experiences shaped your vision for Upstate Mary and the products you create?
Melissa Eppard: For the past decade, in my work coaching and mentoring individuals diagnosed with cancer, I’ve encountered countless women who have faced sexual dysfunction due to surgery, treatment, and hormonal changes. While I could provide emotional support and tools to help manage stress and rebuild body confidence, there remained an underlying issue—physical discomfort and lack of arousal—something I personally struggled with as well. One conversation stands out with a young survivor in her early 30’s who said, “I guess I’m just not going to be sexual anymore.” It was both heartbreaking and unacceptable to me. Sexual health is vital to overall emotional and mental well-being. Discovering the benefits of CBD-infused lubricants was truly a breakthrough moment. These products are designed with comfort, connection, confidence, and community in mind, offering a holistic approach to sexual wellness.
HH: Why do you believe it’s important to foster open dialogue about issues like low libido and vaginal dryness? How does Upstate Mary aim to normalize these conversations?
Melissa Eppard: I believe women are naturally good communicators, yet for generations, many of us have inherited a deep sense of shame about our bodies. While the body positivity movement is finally gaining momentum, topics like sexual dysfunction, menstruation, and menopause still carry a heavy stigma. Cultural and religious barriers often add to this, and I want to recognize the privilege it is to even be able to have this conversation. How can we support one another and address these challenges when we’re so often isolated, silenced, or don’t even have the right language to talk about our own bodies and experiences? We shouldn’t have to suffer in silence, and that’s where Upstate Mary comes in. Our mission is to be a source of community and support for women dealing with sexual discomfort and low libido. Through our blog, events, and social media, we’re creating a space for open dialogue and helping to normalize the conversation around these important, yet often overlooked, topics.
HH: Can you walk us through your process for developing products that specifically address discomfort and pain in women’s health? What unique insights do your personal experiences bring to this process?
Michelle Bergkamp: Developing products that address discomfort and pain in women’s health is both a professional and deeply personal journey for me. My own experiences, especially after childbirth and dealing with bladder prolapse, really shaped the way I approached the formulation of these products. I’ve faced the challenges of painful sex and physical discomfort, so I knew firsthand the need to create something that wasn’t just about enhancing pleasure, but also providing relief and healing.
Michelle Bergkamp (con’t.): We started this process by testing every CBD topical and lubricant we could get our hands on. Melissa and I made it a point to take detailed notes separately, recording our thoughts on texture, effectiveness, and overall experience, before coming together to compare results. From the outset, we were clear about our goals: to create products that would meet our uncompromising standards—clean, organic, and free from any ingredients that we couldn’t easily recognize or pronounce. Full spectrum CBD has incredible anti-inflammatory and soothing properties, which I found to be a game-changer in helping with pain relief, especially in intimate situations. Beyond CBD, we carefully selected botanicals that could help increase circulation, promote healing, and reduce discomfort during sex. Our vision for the Farm to Bedroom™ collection was rooted in delivering the perfect balance of glide and moisture. The products couldn’t absorb too quickly, nor could they leave behind an unpleasant residue. They needed to feel luxurious while also smelling and tasting yummy. We wanted our botanical blend to work in harmony with the full spectrum CBD to increase blood flow and sexual stimulation for a heightened experience.
The formulation process wasn’t a one-and-done affair. We went through multiple rounds of testing, fine-tuning each batch with the help of our partners and other testers. Our year of R&D involved a lot of testing with our partners to find the formula that hit the mark. And let’s be real—it was a lot of fun! Luckily, our husbands were more than willing to be test subjects during this critical development phase, and we think they were pretty lucky too!
HH: How does Upstate Mary engage with and support women navigating similar sexual health challenges? Are there any specific initiatives or resources you’re proud to offer?
Melissa Eppard: As a survivorship coach, I’ve led workshops and hosted numerous support groups over the years, helping women navigate the challenges of life after cancer. Upstate Mary grew out of that work, allowing us to give back by supporting various causes annually. We donate product samples to breast cancer retreats and women-led initiatives, providing educational materials about our offerings. At pop-up events and markets, we spark meaningful conversations about menopause, sexual dysfunction, women’s health and the therapeutic benefits of full spectrum CBD. We also host events, give interviews, speak on podcasts—basically, we’re passionate about talking to anyone willing to engage on these topics! Upstate Mary proudly donates a portion of every sale to the National Breast Cancer Foundation, helping to further our mission of support and empowerment.
HH: Looking ahead, what changes do you hope to see in the conversation around women’s sexual health, and how does Upstate Mary plan to lead or contribute to that change?
Michelle Bergkamp: I’m incredibly hopeful for my daughter’s generation. It feels like we’re in the midst of a significant shift toward normalizing conversations about women’s health issues, and I truly hope that momentum continues. We want Upstate Mary to play a big role in driving that change. Social media has opened the door to discussions that transcend geographical and cultural barriers, making it easier for women to share their stories and resources.
Michelle Bergkamp (con’t.): However, talking about sex and sexual health on social media can be incredibly challenging due to censorship and the risk of shadowbanning. While these platforms offer a powerful way to connect, educate, and foster community, their algorithms often flag or suppress content related to sexual wellness and cannabis + hemp, even when it’s educational or health-focused. This creates significant limitations for companies like ours, which are trying to have open, honest conversations about topics like sexual dysfunction, pleasure, menopause and the benefits of hemp and cannabis for intimacy.
Shadowbanning means that social media content, despite not violating any clear guidelines, might not show up in followers’ feeds or in search results. This makes it difficult to reach the audiences who would benefit most from these conversations and products like ours. It’s frustrating because it forces us to navigate a fine line between promoting sexual health and avoiding words or imagery that could be misinterpreted by automated systems.
To overcome these challenges, many people (including us) are getting more creative with their messaging. We focus on finding ways to discuss these issues indirectly, using softer language or coding certain terms, but it often feels like we’re all walking on eggshells. Upstate Mary is also committed to building our community off-platform—through blogs, newsletters, and live events—so we can have the real, open conversations that social media might restrict.
Ultimately, it’s important to continue pushing back against these barriers, advocating for sex-positive, shame-free conversations about wellness in every space, including social media. All that said, I’m cautiously optimistic. By openly discussing the real challenges we’re facing and the solutions helping us overcome them, we can create a path for future generations to access this knowledge and find the support they need more easily.
Upstate Mary is currently available online and in select dispensaries. Click here to find out more.